Use Guilt for Good
It's a new year. And for many, it's a time to make plans and resolutions for improvement in the coming year. But in the end, are we just setting ourselves up for another thrashing by guilt and regret?
Feeling guilt is a sign that some personal guideline, value, belief or rule has been breached.
Guilt arises from a number of sources:
from failing to live up to certain standards, yours or someone else's
from doing something wrong, embarrassing or hurtful, whether it was intentional or not
from feeling a sense of responsibility to or for others
from a refusal to accept mistakes made, perhaps due to superior expectations or attitudes about what is allowed behavior--feeling that perfection is required
from underlying unresolved problems, feelings or emotions [1]
There are upsides of guilt when managed properly.
Guilt has a powerful social function in regulating our behavior. It helps us be more empathetic and sympathetic with other people. It raises our moral compass, pushing back lying, cheating and other ethical indiscretions. It improves our behavior and helps us to be better parents, friends, lovers and employees.[2]
Guilt can drive us to be better people.
We can achieve those new years resolutions! but what kept us from success last time we made a similar commitment?
Like most things, guilt has a shadow side. When guilt become a nasty recurring drone in our mind, it goes too far.
When we break our own rules, there may be consequences for your actions. While feeling an appropriate amount of remorse or regret, take responsibility, an apology or reparation could be necessary for the injured person or a time-out may be needed to reset your attitude, reflect on the violated values and learn from the mistake. These actions should be appropriate to the crime.
If the punishment is amplified, exaggerated or continues without an end, then it's time to work on the underlying emotion(s).
Emotional Resolution excels at removing the underlying emotions of unhealthy guilt.
What shame, remorse, anxiety or high levels of stress are playing off your guilt to renew the scene of your failure over and over in your head, that spirals into more shame and remorse?
What conflict of values or embarrassment freezes your actions?
What pattern of action or circumstance keeps reoccurring in your life that reinforces the guilty feelings?
What self-talk and negative thoughts feed your guilt and self-doubt?
and where did they come from and why are they still living in the mind?
Every time a noxious guilty image, behavior or anxiety flashes in the mind it is actionable. It is an opportunity to clean up a long held emotional trauma or injury.
The pernicious guilty "episode" points directly to the emotion that is trapped by the subconscious waiting to be triggered again and again. Knowing the details of when the emotions was stuck, who was involved and how it happened may "make sense" of the triggering. But it will NOT remove the emotion or it's triggering by the subconscious permanently.
Although techniques, like "breathe thru it", "explore/analyze your feelings", acceptance, avoidance, "release the feelings", etc, etc, may sidestep the guilty feeling for the moment, the noxious guilt will come back; it will be triggered again.
The link between the buried emotion and the situation that is triggering the noxious guilt must be broken. How is that done?
The only way I've found to neutralize unhealthy guilt is through the Emotional Resolution process. After a lifetime of searching, finally, a method as arrived that will reset the Emotion-Trigger dynamic in the subconscious.
The Emotional Resolution process pulls up the emotion in the body, based on the retelling of the triggering situation and gives the body time to process the emotion trapped in the body. It's that simple. Simple to say--but generally we need a Emotional Resolution practitioner to coach us through the process.
The Emotional Resolution process is so holistic and natural! It is accessible to everyone over the age of 12. That's a bunch of everyones :) that can get relief from noxious guilt.
So, Use Guilt for Good
Use normal guilt feelings as a guide to improved behavior. Take responsibility to right the wrong as best you can and then drop the guilt.
Use noxious guilt that makes you miserable as a sign post to an underlying emotion that requires some work. Do the work with Emotional Resolution and free yourself.
Are you ready to let go of the GUILT that makes you miserable?
References
1. Emotional Mastery, Adam Sicinski, https://blog.iqmatrix.com/eliminate-guilt
2. How To Stop Feeling Guilty, 5 Secrets Backed By Research, https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/11/how-to-stop-feeling-guilty/