Success is Good for You?
Where do your dreams, plans and actions fall apart, the launch, the flight, or the landing?
Whether the goal is large or small, our success, or lack thereof, is decided by the little beliefs and attitudes that we carry with us in the undercurrent of our subconscious voice.
These little voices are different for each of us
I usually get what I want, and if I cannot get this, well, it is not that important anyway.
My achievements are small--no big deal. It is not real progress.
I do not have the skills to do it, and if I did, it would not work, or they will not like it.
I am doing all I can, but I only see what has failed.
I tried that, and it did not work; that strategy will not work for me.
I have tried everything, and I have no idea how to do this. [1]
Our subconscious is constantly muttering convictions and skepticism that seem to push success away.
Most often, we fear the results and consequences of success:
attracting attention can be very uncomfortable
being unable to live up to other’s expectations or to maintain the success
getting torn away from the thing we love to do by the busy-ness of success’ social, marketing and media obligations.
Sometimes we know why we feel this way, but usually not. We may have learned to avoid success because of childhood teasing and shaming. Even when starved for attention, the spotlight can cause stress and painful anxiety.
We succeed when we do not know that we are not supposed to.
Being unable to reach goals does not mean that we do not want them or think they are worthwhile. And it has nothing to do with willpower. It means there is something else at play.
Every single one of those subconscious mutterings is a clue. They lead directly to a buried emotion—some unprocessed high-stress event we encountered in the past. After being repeatedly ignored and pushed away, these feelings are now concealed and somewhat silent. They are silent because we do not notice them as a direct emotional experience. But they still reveal themselves in unexpected ways.
How do we get from futile to fabulous?
Silent subconscious emotions produce behaviors and habits—involuntary actions or compulsive behavior that we do automatically. Actions like
avoiding projects and opportunities
shying away from compliments or praise or quickly shifting focus to another person
subtly (or not so subtly) sabotage work or performance to avoid getting ahead
hanging with people that won’t challenge us directly[2]
giving up when others win or critique our work
Each of these emotions and behaviors represents an entry point to the work that will eliminate them.
Emotional Resolution®, EmRes®, is an emerging technology that uses our felt emotions and actions to get access to buried emotions that subconsciously drive our behaviors and attitudes and eliminate them.
With EmRes, you don’t have to know the original injury or high-stress event that left the emotion unprocessed. Our current feeling life, and experiences point to their emotional roots. EmRes sessions involve resolving the unfinished emotions through the sensory-body memory, not our conscious memory. The subconscious remembers everything, and the body does the work. The emotional trigger and resulting involuntary actions are removed.
EmRes Sessions are a bit like having a calm conversation with a friend. It stops short of retriggering trauma. We do not need to share our personal information or stories.
With the mind unburdened from past traumas, we are free to shine in the spotlight.
A champion is afraid of losing. Everyone else is afraid of winning. --Billie Jean King
And working on success-avoidance with EmRes has some significant side-effects. This is the good news!
The same behaviors that hold us back on the road to a specific success story also hold us back in many other areas of our life. Shying away from compliments might mean that we can’t allow others to love and support us fully. Avoiding opportunities is not just happening on the project. The lack of critique and challenge stagnates our personal growth and development.
When you resolve success issues in one area, they clear up in other areas as well. Life gets better and better. Freedom to succeed happens in all aspects of your life.
Are you ready to flourish?
Reference
6 Types of Fear of Success (And How to Overcome Them), https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/what-you-have-fear-success.html
Fear of Success: How It Works and What to Do About It, https://nickwignall.com/fear-of-success/
Image by cocoparisienne from Pixabay